Woke Golf: The Funny Side of Etiquette, Pace, and Playing Nice

Grip it, Rip it, and Woke Up

I’m just about to turn 70. I’ve lived through rotary phones, lava lamps, the Clapper, Chia Pets, Slinkys, and the full rise and fall of the fax machine. So, you’d think I’d have a decent handle on the English language by now.

Then along came the word woke, popping up everywhere like it had its own publicist and a podcast deal. At first, I thought it had something to do with sleep. Logical enough. You wake up in the morning, so if you’ve woke, you must’ve been asleep. End of story. Hit snooze and carry on.

But no. Turns out woke has roots in African American slang going back to the 1930s. It originally meant being alert to injustice, especially racial injustice. Over time, it morphed into a broader term for being socially aware, tuned into things like inequality, discrimination, and empathy. In theory, being called woke means you’re paying attention and trying not to be a jerk.

But in practice? That’s where it gets murky. These days, being called woke might be a compliment, or it might be a sideways insult, depending on who’s saying it and how much cable news they’ve been watching. It can mean you care about others, or that you care too much and need to lighten up. If someone calls you woke, your best response is probably, “Define your terms.”

Here's How Woke Works on a Golf Course

Be Woke to the Pace of Play

We all saw your three-minute pre-shot routine like you're auditioning for Cirque du Soleil. Unless you’re putting for the U.S. Open (you’re not), just hit the ball. Golf isn’t a hostage negotiation. Be aware, not dramatic.

Be Woke to Etiquette

You don’t need to achieve monk-like serenity, but maybe don’t throw your club like you're trying out for the javelin. And for the love of Arnie, rake the bunker. That sand isn’t just for your footprints.

Be Woke to the Cart Path Rule

Golf carts are helpful, but they’re not off-road vehicles. That “cart path only” sign isn’t a dare—it’s a plea. Respect the turf. It’s not your lawn, and the greenskeeper isn’t your personal landscaper.

Be Woke to Ready Golf

If you’re ready and it’s safe, go. No need to wait for Bob to wrap up his third story about knee surgery. This isn’t a royal procession. Just play the shot and keep it moving.

Be Woke to Your Own Game

You’re not on the PGA Tour. If you’re thrashing around in the woods for your fifth ball and still lining up your putt like it's for TV, maybe pick your ball up and proceed to the next hole. That hole totally kicked your ass, this time anyway.

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So yeah, maybe I am a little woke. Not in the chant-at-a-rally, tweet-your-feelings kind of way—but in the “let’s just try not to be totally oblivious” sense. Golf is supposed to be fun, not a four-hour seminar in selfishness and denial.

Now get out there, swing freely, laugh at your bad shots, and maybe—just maybe—don’t be that guy.

Stay Well, Stay Safe, and Have Fun

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